happy halloween
other than the byob party:

and the 80s theme at work:

i'm sorta not in to the whole dressing up thing this year. so much for that (other OTHER) costume i put together! be safe, trick or treat!
current mood: boooooo

time to give my liver a break
between the carcinogens in the air, the bottles of wine at home, dinner, the wedding, and afterwards, and all the shenanigans in between, time for a detox. congrats mr. and mrs. churchwell, and happy birthday mrs anderson, cresting her quarter-century existence with the traditional cocktails and pumpkin-carving fiesta!

current mood: like a rockstar

coping skills
thanks to all who have sent their thoughts and prayers our way. happy to say that the fam is allowed back at the homestead now, as of 9:30 this morning, but the air on the way there is so bad, they're waiting it out until the smokiness doesn't kill the bird. i've already resolved myself to the fact that i probably have black lung, and thus may take up smoking because, heck, why not?
it's been interesting, and sort of surreal, to be out and about these past 2 days or so. for the most part, it seems that people i see aren't really affected, and i keep getting annoyed at their, well, unaffectedness. but maybe that's just their way of keeping calm, as it seems that the people around me have all put on their own masks to deal, whether that is straight-up tears, foolish heroics, illogical demands, or my personal OCD diligence, being glued to the couch and devouring channel 8 news for days (not hours, but DAYS) straight.
that being said, i'm starting to get bored. work has been cancelled for the week, and the air is too awful to enjoy san diego. i let myself venture not too far from home when i went to a friend's house, and we ate cookies and pizza, played pretty pretty princess, and of course drank wine and champagne. her husband is a firefighter, and she was having to field all sorts of calls, but we all appreciated the company. i can think of no better way to go, actually, when the going gets rough.
current mood: getting stir crazy

ready to run
even though i was far away from flames (but not the choking smoke), i still got prepared to split, nervous about the red burn areas encompassing me on the map. and my mom's sage advice (which explains alot, actually, about my attitude in life i think) rang true to me at that moment: "if you feel threatened, you do what you gotta do and get outta there." i think i do that a lot in life, anyway. hence the hitting-people-in-bars phase.
i of course grabbed the necessary passport, insurance, official documents, etc. but then there were the things in the "everything else" category that, in retrospect, were reflective of my life. in no particular order:
* photos and keepsakes (and the accompanying hernia... holy heaviness, there were a lot of those)
* paintings and glass stuff done by my mom. (which, apparently, she left at her own house... psh).
* mix-n-match clothes, knowing i would probably have to go to work, and maybe a wedding. this was a step my mom skipped, and was describing herself as an unfashionable refugee.
* karate gear... replaceable, but worth a couple hundred $, so might as well grab it.
* recipe box :)
* exercise band, to avoid boredom.
* library books, to avoid late fees.
* and most importantly, the picture i made at the first whisp of smoke. it's a pic of the fam, and the pets, and the house, and my angel grandparents each protecting a corner of our home...
you have to be specific with the universe, sometimes.
current mood: thanks, grandma and grandpa!

man, i hate that smell
that awful, awful smell. it rewinds me back to 15 years ago, finding my sister in the chaos at school, figuring out that my brother had busted through the police line to go grab my mom and our billion animals (pig included). going over to a friend's house b/c we couldn't go home, and seeing our street on tv between the gray and orange.
it rewinds me back to 4 years ago, staring at the small red sun through the black blanket of smoke. indenting the carpet in front of the tv, with one hand over my mouth and one hand permanently attached to the phone, frantically going through the rolodex of friends with yards so we would have somewhere to put the animals (sans pig).
it rewinds me to yesterday at 5 am, waking up for no apparent reason and instinctively reaching for the radio. what i heard froze my limbs but put my head in to overdrive. not moving from the couch, phone in hand, for 33 straight hours. seeing our street scroll across the screen as an immediate evacuation. watching as the red gets closer and closer to my peninsula, and planning my escape route. calling the house and getting no answer, to find later that the power has been cut and my dad has snuck through to survey the neighborhood. it's still there, in its upright, none-smoking-rubble form. for now. not that it matters, really. it's only stuff... right?
thank you for your prayers and words of comfort. we appreciate it, and it's nice to know we have love out there, even if none of you did bring me cookies, as much as i may have begged. probably for the best, so thanks again... i guess?
current mood: 'tis the season

we'll chalk it up to maturity
i think i'm growing up, as evidenced by my preference of nightlife. honestly, these days i would rather cook up a nice meal and sit on the couch with a bottle of wine than hit the club scene... a realization surprising to me as that wasn't always the case. but saturday's foray downtown pretty much sealed the deal that i will choose game night over ladies night any day of the week, and doubly on weekends. having sat outside for a while waiting for the rest of the crew to show up, we finally got in to the smallest bar i have ever seen in my life. 40 minutes, 4 foreign objects in my right eye (2 straws, 2 fingers), 2 drinks spilled, and a rather violent hair yanking with a girl trying to start something with me (if something is started by "what the f***, b****?!" coming from her mouth)... that was about enough for me. i said my goodbyes, paid my parking fee, and rolled home, surprised to have survived the night. i much preferred the sunday night camaraderie of nat's family as we celebrated her bday with our japanese-inspired feast and lots and lots o' sake.
current mood: i don't love the nightlife, but i do got to boogie

the best part of waking up...
i'm not sure which was the worser way to start my day today: discovering that my favorite tube of cherry chapstick had been reduced to nothing but its shell at the bottom of the dryer ... OR ... discovering that it has indelibly lived on forever by depositing its cherry-hued contents all over your $200 supposed-to-be-pristinely-white karate gi.
current mood: red speckles are the new fashion in karate world

p-a-t-r-i-o-t-s, ever mighty
with the title of "most spirited, 1997" or not, i still remember every word to my high school fight song and to the horribly-tuned alma mater. sadly, i can't say the same for my university, though i would consider that a better academic and social experience of the two. it turns out that the songs are just about ALL i remember from high school, a sad fact i was came to know when i flipped through my senior yearbook as an attempt to refresh my memory for saturday night's reunion.
while i recognized most of the people at the party (except for spouses, and one girl who had lost a lot of weight (you go, yvonne!) and didn't look like herself at all), i was surprised by quite a few things... mostly by the number of single moms there, how many people had become teachers, and the large number of conversations centered on the topic of my boobs. hmm, a common night out, i suppose. i was surprised, too, about who i related to after all these years, though i wasn't too shocked that i tended to be that girl who had the weirdest resume (living in japan, black belt in karate, belly dancer and dodgeball referee?!). like prom, the reunion was just something that i had to do, whether i had the burning desire to or not, and all in all, i'm glad i went, though i still contend that myspace and facebook and all these online social networking groups sort of negate the need to reunite.
current mood: voted "life of the party", ha!

in·som·ni·a
–noun inability to obtain sufficient sleep, esp. when chronic; difficulty in falling or staying asleep; sleeplessness.

i'm in one of those moods again. boo.
current mood: to say nothing of the bags under my eyes.

i'm just social
after having been recently accused of online-stalking as i noticed a cyber-friend had made some significant changes to his e-profiles, i hotly defended myself in alignment with my job. "i have to be online all day, because my students are." it's true, my constituents spend way too many hours staring at their screens, waiting for the latest! breaking! news! ... like their friend changed their profile picture! admittedly not the best use of salary dollars when it comes to spending my time. but i can't help but be drawn to where they are, and i can't help satiating that vain and probably just a little voyeuristic side of me too... where do i stand in your top friends? what do your profile pictures say about you?
ah, i should probably stop blogging about it and go make my social networking rounds... or, perhaps i should tear myself away from my keyboard, use those two stumps attached to my hips to walk around and actually have personable relations with other beings who don't need a click of the mouse to super-poke me. but, i'm absolutely immersed in the worlds of facebook/myspace/friendster... and believe it or not, i get paid for it!
current mood: i don't stalk, i observe