man, i hate that smell
that awful, awful smell. it rewinds me back to 15 years ago, finding my sister in the chaos at school, figuring out that my brother had busted through the police line to go grab my mom and our billion animals (pig included). going over to a friend's house b/c we couldn't go home, and seeing our street on tv between the gray and orange.
it rewinds me back to 4 years ago, staring at the small red sun through the black blanket of smoke. indenting the carpet in front of the tv, with one hand over my mouth and one hand permanently attached to the phone, frantically going through the rolodex of friends with yards so we would have somewhere to put the animals (sans pig).
it rewinds me to yesterday at 5 am, waking up for no apparent reason and instinctively reaching for the radio. what i heard froze my limbs but put my head in to overdrive. not moving from the couch, phone in hand, for 33 straight hours. seeing our street scroll across the screen as an immediate evacuation. watching as the red gets closer and closer to my peninsula, and planning my escape route. calling the house and getting no answer, to find later that the power has been cut and my dad has snuck through to survey the neighborhood. it's still there, in its upright, none-smoking-rubble form. for now. not that it matters, really. it's only stuff... right?
thank you for your prayers and words of comfort. we appreciate it, and it's nice to know we have love out there, even if none of you did bring me cookies, as much as i may have begged. probably for the best, so thanks again... i guess?
current mood: 'tis the season