2007, in 15 answers.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
* saying what i meant, and meaning what i say... no matter how much it hurt. second tier are my vagina monologues audition and my locks of love donation (2 years in the making!)
What was your biggest failure?
* communications, ironically.
What's something you learned about yourself?
* another facet of my low times... it's hard to explain, but this is actually a good thing. one doesn't think about their life as a whole when they are in their high times, so it's easy to miss lessons of experience. but low times always make you pick yourself apart, and for me, it's a good opportunity to learn.
What's one thing you thought you'd never do but did in 2007?
* cross the atlantic! who knew europe was such a treat? paris, london, madrid... good times, close calls ; )
Resolutions, kept and new?
* the herb garden is planted and some are growing, but that other 'resolution' didn't quite work out.
for oh-eight, i hope to soften my heart back to what i remember it to be, it's been hardened a little more than my liking. and i will challenge myself rather than talking myself out of challenge (vag monos, vegas, and who knows what else).
What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
* stability and confidence... lost those dear companions for a period of 12-months or so, would like them back now, thankyouverymuch.
Whose behavior merited celebration?
* the muffin man is showing remarkable maturity and it's nice to have him back.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
* faux's... i would like to know where the he i knew from before went, and who is this guy in his place??
What do you wish you’d done more of?
* leaned on people's tender shoulders a little more, laughed more, and, as always, more massages!
What do you wish you’d done less of?
* crying, making excuses.
What kept you sane?
* travel plans, and all those who have held up a mirror for that occassional reality check.
What drove you insane?
* my own head, and beuracracy.
Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
* If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine
current mood: great in oh-eight!

funny thing about language...
i was recently pleasantly surprised by an email from my japanese twin (seriously, we'd be sisters if we weren't an ocean apart) that she is engaged and planning on being married on february 2nd of next year. since we've met, i've always wondered what would happen when one of us got engaged... would we cross that big blue pacific to be at each other's day, despite planes, trains, and language barriers?
i want to be there. i REALLY do. but let's take the head out of fantasy land for a second, and think clearly here: there's work, for one thing. not so much the boss making me be there as the things that need to get done. then there's the vagina monologues rehearsals, to which i committed to being at every one. committment is not one i take lightly. then there's the fact that i would be the complete and utter odd-one-out at the wedding itself, and usually, you like to be able to talk to the people at your table, you know?
(notice how $$ is not an issue here. i'll hook if i have to.)
i replied to marika's email with an innocuous "oh, i wish i could go...", forgetting at the moment the subtlety of language differences. in english, "i wish i could" usually indicates a polite and wistful decline. however, my culture got away from me for a moment, forgetting to remind me that "i wish i could" in japanese indicates that you have every intention to, you're just waiting for the engraved invitation so as not to seem rude.
oops. my engraved invitation will be arriving in the mail soon. my hotel room is already booked and paid for by the bride and groom... seems that reality and fantasy have shaken hands...
current mood: hard at work, trying to align stars

feliz navidad
merry christmas to all
current mood: and to all a good night!

the mop has been chopped


for all the griping and whining i did about my hair over the last 22 months or so, i never really thought about the why of it. to me, it was a given that i would donate the hair when it was long enough to be done so. that wasn't a goal, it was simply an end to a means. i made the promise to donate it simply so i could convince myself not to cut it any shorter and actually try to grow it out past my chin. by promising it away, i could make the case not to cut it because it was no longer mine.
i've had so many people tell me what a wonderful thing i was doing. still, though, while thanking them on the outside, on the inside i did a little shrug of the shoulders, like what's the big deal?
i get it now. i don't know what flipped in me, but i get it. maybe it was the realization that not everyone who can do it, actually does. maybe it was my mom's comments, starting out with "i'm proud of you...". maybe it was my aunt, a cancer survivor, who made it a point to speak for all those who had gone through hair-capades due to treatment to give me a genuine thank you. or maybe it was my friend monica, who didn't hesitate for a moment with her resounding "yes" when i suggested 6 months ago that she join me in donating (thanks, moni!). i don't know... but i get it.
current mood: "light-headed"! hahaha

festive
for whatever i have to say about this time of year, there is a glimmer of joy in the form of being able to swing my favorite christmas song with the honkiest of tonk i can muster:
may your father stay sober this christmas as well.
current mood: falling down 'neath the christmas tree

fashion finale
'twas the week of school finals,
and all through ucsd,
not a student was stirring,
not even a flunky.
... but entering the library,
arose such a sight,
there were all the students,
most of whom had been there all night.
most of the time, i am mistaken for a student, but there are a few times when i'm very much standing out from the rest of the crowd. mostly that has to do with dress. during finals time, standard student uniform is baggy sweatshirt, pajama or track pants, and sneakers. anyone NOT fitting this look is automatically distinguished as a non-student. zippers and heels are not welcomed.
i got a few curious looks walking through the deserted campus. i think the conclusion was probably that i was a clueless freshman, and at this point next quarter, i would be properly outfitted in finals gear. i'm going to see if i can get away with it at work, anyway.
current mood: restlessly working

and i got paid for this, too
i was asked to submit something to the holiday party "crafty faire" contest, with the caveat that it had to be made out of recycled or sustainable materials. hence, this monstrosity was created:


other than tape to keep the "people" in place, it's 100% recycled or sustainable (paper clips unbent, candy canes in wrapper, etc) and made mostly out of expired brochures and my old boss' business cards. more views can be found by clicking this and working through the set. enjoy, and have a very green christmas!
current mood: oh, and i totally won

the crap, crappiest time of the year
holy crazy week. staying home from work, sick. brawl at dodgeball. rain. winds. lightning. porn. crafty faires and dioramas. lots of glue and tape and shopping. i think the world has lost its mind.
current mood: just trying to keep up

my short skirt
mark your calendars, folks. my lovely legs will be making their on stage debut in february, framing the vagina monologue entitled "my short skirt"... a strong prose about the power of the calves and the rights of the hemline.
current mood: SO excited.