wearing flowers in my hair, meeting gentle people, uh, here
considering last time i was here, i left my lunch in san francisco, this trip has already been a success! i took advantage of the 3-day weekend bestowed upon those of us who follow federal holidays (thank you, cesar chavez!) and headed up north. i have no intentions for the trip other than to soak in the love of my friends and return to san diego a little bit fuller. if i can pack in some sights, lotsa asian food, and perhaps some tequila in the process, all the better!
((ps - i may or may not now have the nickname 'snow frog'...))
current mood: let the good time (rock and) roll

the road less traveled
for whatever my laments of february were, march has brought an interesting phenomenon with it: i seem to be irresistible. well of course i am, but it's recently been pointed out to me in the form of being approached by people on an every-other-day basis. i'm not sure that i have been living life any differently, and in fact, considering certain circumstances, i would think that i would have somewhat of a black cloud or bleeding heart persona reflected. but perhaps the vibe i'm giving is one that's opposite of that, and it's speaking to others in the grocery store, in the gym, at the coffee cart, on the sidewalk, in the restaurants... it's incredible, only because i don't remember this ever really happening before. i'm sure many of you are like my friend khace who pointed out "well, maybe you're just noticing it more"... to which i had to reply "yeah... no. they're definitely coming up to my face." like the guy last night who must have been at least 15 years older than i am, gave me his number on a CD based on his home-practice of aromatherapy. yeah, i noticed that. that's new. and apparently it's just the beginning.
current mood: the attention at least helps that certain circumstance

103
i'm waddling like a penguin because i can't walk straight, after having jacked up my back, my knee, and both my hips from this weekend's adventures. i'm like 103 years old.
to my own defense, i wasn't adequately prepared for the silly little mud mosey course. they told us about the mud pits (duh), the water spraying (cool), the hurdles (check), the pipes (check check), the steeplechase (got it). however, no one EVER mentioned the MOUNTAIN we had to climb in the middle of the race. the thing was so steep that you could reach out to touch it while you were 'racing' up it. and every time you got to a little plateau and thought you were at the top, you looked up and saw a whole new section to conquer. not cool, man. unfortunately, my leg issue was acting up on the way down the mountain, so it's not like i could race down it either. i'm sure had the bionic woman i thought i was shown up for the race that day, i would have done a little better. that bionic woman might have also have been able to pull me up over the wall we were supposed to scramble over... however for gimpy ol' me, i ran at it 3 times trying to get a good lift up and over, but it was about 3 inches too high for me to get the leverage for me to heave my chest over the wall. i looked pretty awesome trying jump over a 5 foot wall in goggles, a swim cap, and floaties.
current mood: unnnnnnnngh

ewwww, mud!
i need a shower. and some mouthwash. and a q-tip.
((pictures to follow once i get the disposable developed... wasn't about to take the digital into the muck!))
current mood: mud is purifying...?

weekend warrior
it's thursday, and i'm already tired for what this weekend is bringing. early saturday morning brings my usual ditching of karate in turn for the dirtier (though not necessarily drrrrtyrrr) side of life: get ready to run in the mud... or as i plan to do, the mud mosey (i ain't runnin'). my 'team' has decided to outfit ourselves with swim caps and floaties, though i am wondering where those will go exactly when it comes time to do the steeplechase. either way, i'm pretty sure i will actually be ingesting quite a bit of mud at some point during this endeavor.

"bstar, you've just eaten enough mud to build your own adobe mansion, what are you going to do now?" "i'm going to disneyland!!"

on tuesday i found out i won 4 free 2fer tickets to disneyland from a radio email promotion, and so i'm grabbing 3 other lucky souls and we're headed up to the happiest place on earth, where hopefully i can be reunited with my (new) favorite ride and, of course, plan on having NO dance parties.
current mood: hopefully i'll be clean by monday

ray of light and black clouds
light: on saturday, as i was drifting in and out of concentration and conversations, i was simultaneously involved in a small energy who was bouncing up and down on the couch. as i turned my attention back to the table, i suddenly felt a tickle at my right ear and a small voice whisper "i like you." the innocence and sincerity of the small little package that those tiny words came from made my heart flip more than recent times (i.e. 20, 25 years?) can recall. so sweet.
black: they have started the refurb project on the house upstairs from me. originally this was a panic moment in january as the landlord called and wondered when i planned on moving out... seeing as i wasn't about to move in with anybody anytime soon, and i wasn't ready to buy, i let him know i didn't have those plans in mind. instead, both the upstairs neighbor and i decided to stick around, resulting in her having to rearrange and move out furniture over the past 2 weeks, pretty much starting at 10pm till after midnight. why they couldn't have done this at other times is beyond me. this week the actual construction started, so those lovely contractors have been knock-knock-knocking stuff down beginning, oh, at 7am. so i've got the midnight madness plus the early morning risers, and i no longer have my shelter near campus to run away from all this mess, meaning i'm bound to be a sleep-deprived beast for the next 90 days. awe-some.
current mood: sweet and sour.

normally i'm a better driver...
but i just HAD to bust out my camera and take a pic of this one.

i mean, c'mon, really??
current mood: maybe it's french for "clean and professional"?

it's just money, right?
i actually managed to walk away from poker last night with money in my hand. it was amazing, especially considering i was the queen of deuces (2-7 anyone? how about a 2-6?), and ruled my queendom with a tight fist... though i coerced the minions with coconut creme pie ; )
today, the only thing on my agenda was to get my taxes done. i had planned on doing it last weekend using my dad's turbotax program, but realized when i was about 1 exit away from the house that i had forgotten all the paperwork in my house. awesome. so hung out with the mother-unit instead. this time 'round i came a little better prepared, until i sat down at the computer and realized i had no idea how to insert the disc into the mac. however, the technically-advanced mother of mine showed me the way she gets the computer to respond: she mashes down on the keyboard until something happens. i think she should write an operating manual.
got all the taxes in, deductions covered, and otherwise grumbles about the irs done. i actually like doing taxes... to me, it's like a choose your own adventure, with math... do you deduct? which line does it go on? what if you choose not to? what fun! until you have to write that check to the franchise tax board...
current mood: and why are you entitled to my money, california?

suit up!
i'm at the gym this morning for karate, but instead of the usual chasing after munchkins, we have the district tourney, which we host. in past years, i've gotten away with being in charge of people, but this year i've been relegated to being a ref... a fact which has the unfortunate side effect of putting me in a hideously ugly suit. we're talking gray slacks, a navy blue blazer, black shoes, white shirt, red tie... nothing matches with nothing. this outfit alone has forever convinced me not to become a cross-dresser. if you're lucky, you'll get to see pictures later. if i'm lucky, you won't.
current mood: bleh, i feel like a boy

to vegas? or not to vegas?
it's that time of year again, the time when karate kids all over the world are gearing up for the craziness that is vegas on easter weekend. more specifically, the couple o' tournaments that go down on the strip that weekend. although i have officially retired, i am strangely lured to the call this year... for some reason i feel i might have a chance to do okay in the new weapons division they have implemented this year. have a chance, of course, because of all the non-training, leaving practice early or not showing up, the complaining, and the new kata not really gone all the way through yet.
sensei, as usual, wants me to go. and i told him i would decide on the morning of the friday we're supposed to be there whether or not i will sport the ryuei ryu emblem on my chest at the flamingo hotel that weekend. i waver everyday on whether or not i'll risk it; if i dedicated myself to training, i'm sure i could make up the time and experience i'm up against. but then, the key part to that, is dedicating and motivating myself in the first place. right.
current mood: unfocused

the tyrant and the fool
i'm sure i've posted this before, but it's worth remembering:

"I must learn to love the fool in me - the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility and dignity but for my fool."

- Theodore Rubin
current mood: so which will it be today?

natalie says...
"you spend so much time taking care of others, britt, that you never take care of yourself." ... i suppose she's right. i suppose that's something i'm going to need to learn to do.
it's time for me again. just me.
current mood: i hope it's an adventure, at least

i heart
carrying over from last night, i have spent most of today in a haze of little hearts swirling about my head. i absolutely fell in love, and it feels great. the lucky man happens to be married... to a lucky woman, with some lucky munchkins running around too. confused?
i was able to spend the evening at the house of some ucsd alumni who had volunteered to open their home and host a handful of current students for dinner. besides making an awesome spread, i was truly in awe of the ease in which the alumni lived life. they have 3 young kids (the baby's only 6 weeks!), and made it look effortless to be hosting 8 people in their house, like it was an everyday occurrence. they had a fluid energy, calming and exciting all at once. they are the most open and generous people i think i have met in a long time, and i found myself telling them that i will be coming to them for advice and mentoring once i have a family of my own, as they make it seem so... so... accessible. not easy, that's for sure. but definitely do-able. and smart. they've made me see it as a grand adventure, not a scary, but necessary, endeavor. parenting has always seemed like such an impossible task, and i somehow now have a new respect for my own abilities to be tested.
now... to find a boy to get all THAT going... hahahaha. right, no prob.
current mood: generosity turns me on.

my bad
once again i am faced with my own blog-mortality in terms of assumptions of who may or may not read my little corner of the web. without knowing *exactly* who reads what, i will have to keep the activities over the past week (specifically wednesday, snowballing in to thursday all the way to sunday) in blog-ular shadow. BUT i will chime in on some very specific vagueness, mainly:
* i didn't mean for the first thing to happen. it was an accident, i promise.
* i didn't mean for that other thing to happen. maybe not an accident, though.
* i didn't mean for the results of the second thing, plus maybe the first thing, to result in the unexpected, but lovely, third thing.
... lots of things. which is strange, because i am usually void of things like these.
current mood: well, this is new...!