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Thursday, May 27, 2010
suffocation
since i live under a house like a troll, my front door is not accessible on the street, but rather through a gate and a backyard. the gate is probably 8 feet high, but has a 4-6 inch clearing on the bottom. i noticed the other day that there seemed to be dirt flung from under the gate, as if someone or something was digging underneath it, but i didn't think too much about it. ... i was awoken two nights ago by the idea that i was having trouble breathing. i remember dreaming that i was having a hard time breathing... less in the drowning or asthma attack way, more in the fart-in-an-elevator kind of way. the thought of not breathing was enough to wake me up at 4am to find out i was, in fact, trying not to breathe. the stench of skunk was so strong, it woke me up. even worse, it was strong enough to wake me up and MAKE ME GET OUT OF BED to light a candle to combat the smell. that's a strong skunkiness, though wow didn't seem to be phased by it whatsoever. i've had a few run-ins with this skunk before, to the point that i might as well name him (yes, i'm assuming it's the same skunk, and yes, i'm assuming it's a he). once, i drove up to my gate, and just as i was about to exit my vehicle, noticed that striped tail walk around the side of my car... i peered out my driver's side window, terrified, and whispering to my mother on the phone (as if he may hear me) that it wasn't safe to get out of my car. 20 minutes later, long after my mother had laughed at me and hung up, i ventured out and booked it to my house. another time, i was sitting on my couch watching television when i heard a rustling outside. assuming it was a rat in a tree (which WOULDN'T scare me, oddly enough), i grabbed a flashlight and headed out to investigate. i walked along the ivy-shrubbed wall, looking for the glint of a rodent's eye, and having found none, i turned around to go back in the house. just as a did that, a lumbering black and white furbull came around the corner from the back of the house. if i was a cartoon character, you would have seen the !!! right above my head as i stopped in fright, then zipped in to my house, locked the doors, closed all the windows and, for reasons i still can't explain, turned off all the lights. i cowered in my bedroom, shining the flashlight out the window, watching my peppery visitor amble about the yard. eventually, he went down the stairs to the gate, at which point i was faced with a question... do i open the gate for him? how is he getting out? if i go out there to help, will i get sprayed? i eventually worked out in my head that it would be better to risk reaching over him to grant him exit than it would be to accidentally trip over him in the morning because he couldn't find a way out. as i tiptoed outside, i looked around warily... where the heck did he go? since then, i have pieced together that mister skunk is a seemingly regular visitor to the yard, digging his way in and out from under the gate, and perfuming his travels to the point of waking me up. part of me is horrified at this invasion of the homestead, and the other part of me is absolutely delighted. ocean beach is known for its squawking green feathered friends, but i seem to be in the part of the neighborhood with adventurous four-legged furry friends. and i kinda like that. current mood: stanky! |