a funny thing happened on the way out of target
what should have been a 20-minute jaunt over to everyone's favorite store turned in to a bloody 2-hour ordeal. on my way out of the dressing room, i banged my not-so-funny bone on a door jamb, causing an instant gusher of blood, not to mention the instant dead arm. i hoisted my dripping elbow up and, with tears in my eyes, asked the dressing room attendant if she had a band-aid. as she tore the place apart, i started looking for the merchandise i had dutifully left outside of the dressing room. the bandage-less attendant returned, and without my permission or even awareness, sprayed my elbow with an antibacterial bactine-like substance.
i'm sorry, i couldn't help it. i definitely yelled "WHAT THE FUCK?!" quite loudly in the middle of target.
now, with my arm throbbing and sizzling and still running with blood, i had to make my way to guest services to find a bandage. hoping my ordeal was near end and getting dizzy with pain, i found myself watching yet another associate slowly digging through their generic first-aid kit, randomly pulling out items and asking "will this work?" (umm, no, your half-used tube of neosporin is not going anywhere near my open wound, and will do nothing to stop the flow out of it). i finally had to ask, "you're target! can't you just pull something off the shelf??" eventually, she set off to do just that, while someone else grilled me about what exactly happened, including another dripping trip to the dressing room to show where i had left my flesh. i had to tell them "look, i'm not going to sue you, i promise. i just really want a bandaid, and i really want to get away from you people." i was a bit cranky, i admit. eventually the guest services chick came through with a bandage, a rough paper towel, and a used bottle of rubbing alcohol. i did my best not to contaminate myself further, bandaged up the wound, and headed to checkout.
the friendly man behind the counter chirped a cheerful "how you doin' today?" and i responded with a dark "i've seen better days..." to which he responded "that's great!!"... WTF?!
a day later, i have a hole in my elbow and a bit of shadow on my perception of one of my favorite stores. but at least it's a good story.
current mood: owie!