mens sibi conscia recti
i've been thinking a lot about pride lately, mostly for my job, but admittedly for personal reasons too. and i of course can't disconnect "pride" from that one year, that one week, that one mantra that was literally drilled in to us at 8th grade band camp, where we were expected to shout in unison "pride! a justifiable appreciation of one's worth, abilities, and high ideals!" miss a word, and you were awash in shame and sent out of the ranks. the other drill was on esprit de corps which is (say it with me!)

a group achievement that causes members to display pride, assurance, confidence and poise in a sincere manner. it is based upon training and discipline and reflects the desire to excel.

not that either of these definitions are helping me necessarily tease out my current thoughts, but they are certainly making for some entertaining cadence in my head as i march across campus. somewhere out in the world are hundreds of adults who can drop those definitions on you with the mere mention of the word pride. it may be something they haven't thought of for years or even decades, but there it is, bubbling to the surface of memory and repetition. why did we need to all stand around in the hot sun memorizing and shouting these things? did it instill discipline in us? fear in our competitors (though i don't really remember shouting it at the other band and colorguard teams out on the parade route)? riksford's own personal amusement and/or sense of control? at 13 years old, was it really that important to my personal development that i know a rather cocky definition of pride? did it make me feel closer to my teammates to know what esprit de corps meant to the band director? i can't say it did, but there is something to be said for the fact that i still remember those silly words after all these years.
current mood: confused