happiness is...
twice yesterday i was asked that simplest of difficult questions: "are you happy?". and both times, i hesitated... not because i don't know the answer, but because i feel like the answer shouldn't be so simple. it should never be a yes or no answer... you're fooling yourself if you think it is. but i hesitated, gauging what the answer should be to the person asking the question... should i be honest and qualify my reasoning for my answer? or should i simplify, veil it in a more elementary response that is easy to gloss over in conversation?
in both instances, i chose to be honest. maybe it's narcissism, but i thought i would explain where i actually am in space and time, rather than present a 2-dimensional poster of my world. the truth is, i am happier than i have been in a long time. am i blissful? at times, yes. is it a constant? goodness no, and i don't need it to be. i think i'd be exhausted if that were the case. i'm in a place where i can see the future (yup, i'm clairvoyant, didn't you know?) on the horizon, and i'm excited for it, even with its uncertainty... as opposed to the place where i was where i didn't care what the horizon looked like because i was too occupied in examining the shadows i seemed to be hanging out in.
happiness is feeling like you're a better person now than you were a year ago, whatever that "better" is to you.
current mood: sure i'm happy... are you?

madness
today i literally have to be in four places at once. too bad i don't work for the division of physical sciences; i'm pretty sure they could make some sort of quantum leap happen. instead, i'll have to settle for the only thing biological sciences can do for me: cloning. but even then, i'll have to wait 30 years to get up to speed!
current mood: too much to do!

visual cloud
wordle.net lets you smush up your most used bloggy words in all sorts of fun fashion:

(smooches to d and capt. obvious for turning my morning into something SO productive!)
current mood: artsy fartsy

it's vagina season!
i wish i could chart how much the word 'vagina', or derivations thereof (like "vag", "v-love", "vajayjay", and even "vagilicious"), has tumbled across my lips over the past few months. i suspect, starting in october, the instances to be low, climbing exponentially high in february, and then with a sudden drop-off in march. the more you're around it, the easier it is to say, and the more it is dropped into everyday conversation, much to the shock, sometimes, of friends and strangers alike.
this year, due mainly to the fact that a huge work event is happening during the exact same time frame as our shows, i'm not on stage, but i am still (quite) involved in the vday movement as the publicity chair of the UCSD Vagina Monologues production. that means i'm responsible for getting the word out, which will hopefully translate in to ticket sales. while that is proving to be tough in these economic times, at least i've had a pretty vagtastic time doing it. check it out:


women are the world's greatest natural resource, they hold life. women as young as 6 months and as old as 80 are being raped, mutilated, and killed as a tactic of war. they are being broken and abused by their husbands because that's their job. imagine your mother being raped, your sister being beaten, your daughters, grandmothers, friends... help do something about it: donate today! (click "send money" and enter b_hoshi(at)yahoo.com in the To: field).
current mood: be an angel, do something good today: donate!

ataraxia

–noun: a state of freedom from emotional disturbance and anxiety; tranquillity.

while there seems to be a lot of chaos in my life right now, i feel strangely peaceful... color me deep ocean blue: unwavering uncertainty beneath the depths.
current mood: calm on the surface, paddling like the dickens underneath