i'll take the physical challenge
5 or so years ago, i saw a production of the vagina monologues, and from that evening forward, i decided that i wanted to be a part of it. i can't say that i'm particularly involved in The Movement, i would never list Feminist as a descriptive adjective, and i certainly don't dream of a life on broadway. but something about it spoke to me, and somewhere in a dusty corner of my heart, i have longed to be a part of the production.
after an initial reading, i was assigned three monologues for callbacks, and i immediately went in to a bit of shock when i was assigned what i consider the most difficult, most challenging monologue of the production: The Woman Who Loved to Make Vaginas Happy.
not only is the 'character' in this particular monologue a lesbian dominatrix (eHEM), but the piece literally climaxes with the performer demonstrating 20 different kinds of moans: from the pragmatic "almost moan" (a circling sound), to the silly irish catholic moan (“Forgive me.”), to the no-holds-barred, surprise triple orgasm moan (intense, multifaceted, climactic moan). fear struck me to the very core, skin flushed and flaming red, as i told the undergrad directors "i'm REALLY uncomfortable with this." undeterred, they clapped their hands and bounced in their seats, exclaiming their excitement in seeing my rendition of the piece. i tried again to back out, but, in the end, they convinced me to sit on it for a week, and see what happens.
of the three monologues i was called in for, "The Woman Who..." ranks number one on biggest challenge, sitting just beyond my pushed-out boundary of comfort. number two is "My Short Skirt" requiring me to show more than a little skin up-to-there in a liberating manifesto that would ask of me to step lightly out of my comfort zone, not drive through it in a speeding tank like the previous entry. and number three is "Hair", a natural story with an easy flow that could be heartfelt and true, though i may have jacked up the reading, nervous after having been reminded of the impending moans later on in the day.
i don't have a good read on how the auditions went, but i do know this: originally the directors wanted to hear half of the moans, but in the middle, i hear "keep going, keep going!" and ended up moaning my way through the entire set... all the while, turning such a hue as to make a fire engine jealous.
i find out my fate in a week.
current mood: nervously embarrassed