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Monday, May 09, 2005
workhorse
at the moment, i can relate to this: long hours, less leisure in the past 3 weeks, i have left my desk for lunch a total of 2 times. TWO times. and that's because someone else made me. i've stayed till 6 or 7. i've come in on sundays. and i'm starting to really freak out that i am setting myself up for a destructive routine. next week marks the end of my japanese class, and i find myself frantically searching for something to fill that void. although a little credit goes to the 5/805 merge traffic and how to avoid it, the reason i have a crazy daily schedule is so i can force myself to extract my ass from my chair before OSHA has to come and do it for me. the number of times a day i look up and see that "holy crap, it's already (insert time of 3-4 hours ahead of what time you actually think it is)?!" is increasing. and i'm missing out on some great connections with people because my energy is off working somewhere else. the scary part is it's not that i have a ton of work, necessarily. but i have the mentality that i'm the only one to do it. and when my boss isn't in the office, i'm the entire representative of my department of 2 1/2 people (the other guy's in portland, so he's only 1/2). fiona's out of town at the end of this month for almost 2 weeks, which means to me that i HAVE to be here. i joke around with her that i would love to play hooky, but the moment i do, that's when disaster will strike. it's security, i guess i feel bad about venting to anyone about my worries since i know everyone's under pressure. except that $56 million-lotto winner in l.a... i'll bet he's chill at the moment. |