uh-oh, i think i'm growing up.
i had a breakthrough yesterday, one that could be checked off in either the "self-discovery of maturity" category, or the "self-discovery of 'hey, you really are nuts!'" category. i was talking to my friend robin about a current situation in which i find myself laying things out on the line in a fairly patterned-basis. in the 3.5 years that this has been going on, it took one afternoon with a friend yesterday to sit there and point out "well, everyone's neurotic in some way." and instead of me denying it with excuses and justifications on why i feel it necessary to grossly expound upon my feelings and perspective in life and this situation, instead i sat back, paused for a moment, and said very matter-of-factly, "you're right. i am neurotic."

i can't believe i admitted that. but actually, i can't believe that i'm okay with it. to me, notions of neuroses are rather taboo; i assume everyone else has them, but i, of course, am the standard of normalcy. but more and more lately i've been noticing certain tendencies that i couldn't explain and have been cause for embarrassment every once in a while when I do something without even thinking about it (like calling out spelling mistakes or catching inconsistencies in everyday life when really i should not even care). i thought my job was just super-training me to do that in my off-work hours, but, as it turns out, i have a history of calling out inconsistencies, letting people know that something just isn't right by my standards, and giving suggestions on what to do about it. i don't consider it controlling, just, err... exacting.

the great thing was to have robin there in my moment of self-discovery in such a supportive 'oh my gosh, i'm totally like that too!' way. i may be crazy, but i'm not alone, and i embrace this new label without apology. but it makes me wonder... what's your excuse?