i can see clearly now
the stitches are gone. i briefly flirted with the idea of keeping one of the little blue threads for posterity's sake, but decided a couple of years (weeks? days?) from now, I'd forget and think it was just lint.
i've been taking a lot of reflection time lately, yet haven't actually been reflecting. i find myself with a lot of free time and, not sure what to do with it, i try to whittle away the hours figuring out life and times. i put on no pretenses that i have an idea of who i am, where i'm going, or what i'm doing. i DO know that i appear as if i do, but that's a different story. the strange thing is that I think about thinking about things, but never actually get to that point. i was absolutely delighted to find that one of my favorite 'just sit' spots was recently re-established; there used to be a pair of swings hanging from some trees overlooking scripps aquarium, downtown la jolla, and the vast pacific. sadly, someone cut them down a coupla years ago. so what a great surprise to find that one of them has been restrung (just one) and i can once again rock placidly while staring at the sun dipping into the ocean, and reflect on the fact that my head is not so much in the place for reflecting. It's at the same time peaceful and disturbing, falling right in line with these tumultuous times.

ya gotta do it right
because my eyebrow's all stitched up, i've been having to wear a band-aid... So of course i have been delighting in sportin' colorful tributes to Blue's Clues, Winnie the Pooh, and holographic disco fun over my left eye. Far be it from me to have to subject myself to the hideous "nude" color the rest of the world adheres to!
There are varied reactions to the bandaid (colorful or not): those people who know me say, usually laughingly, "britt! what happened?!", while those people who only sorta know who i am tend to look sympathetic and quietly inquire "how are you?". I can see their minds taking off with the horrible scenes of some violent relationship that I am undoubtedly trapped in. Complete strangers look at the bandage, then look at me, then quickly cast their eyes down... except for the drunk guy at the fair who reached directly for it while blubbering "hey baby, i'm so sorry..." He almost got his arm broken. Almost.
I'll go to get these removed tomorrow, though the young doctor who stitched me up is on call today... my boss will be so disappointed if I don't go back and visit him (and bring him some cat treats for his new kitty). She worked pretty hard to hook us up while he was sewing my brow. I guess it fits though; i've never been so conventional.

lesson learned
1 punch to the face
(subtotal)
1 black eye
+
5 stitches
(total)
a lesson learned not to kick liz in the head anymore

(dividend)
-1 brown belt
technically earned, but not received as the trip to Urgent Care took priority over the obi ceremony.

brown belt test
in t-minus 90 minutes.

yikes.

aaaaaaaaand go!
well, my surfing lessons have been flushed as it seems that i have a tendency to pick very unpopular times to go surfing, and was the only one signed up for certain classes. oh well, maybe i'll just teach myself. don't think, however, that i have now been cast away to a life of boredom, oh no. i have quite the busy schedule ahead of me for the next month at least. some of the potential highlights:
* brown belt test (eek!) on wednesday
* ozomatli @ the fair on thursday
* blind date (eek eek!) on friday
* moving cynthia on saturday
* visiting with carrie sometime between tue-sun
* moving ji next sat
* july 4 partay with frank
* my birthday and who knows what
* naw'lins for karate and work
* tennis and belly dancing...
i could go on, but i think you get my point.

and then there was silvi
yesterday marked the last for a long while of days in san diego for my dear friend silvi, off to europe with the fam, and then to start in on her path to becoming a dentist. i can't really describe the affection i have for this woman; i've often told her that if she was a boy, i'd marry her. the funny thing is that our relationship started out sort of rocky: we were in the same college orientation group, and i remember making some comment which i thought was hilarious, but evoked such a withering "you are pathetic" look from sil that I proceeded to tell my best friend in high school all about this really mean girl i had met. So how horrified was i when, on move in day, i ran into her hauling her stuff into my suite, roomed next door. Just my luck. We kinda did our own thing for a while, then, all o' a sudden, we were inseperable. We were one person named 'brittnsilvi'. Sil introduced me to all sorts of things i never would have known about (food mostly... boba!), baby-stepped me into using chopsticks, and let me trample right in and all over her life, all the time showing nothing but love. Most of all this to say, few people put up with me like she does (family included), and for that she deserves martyrdom.

gee. thanks.
sensei can be a great sounding board; i often go to him reflecting on life's little quirks, and he's usually got some good things to say. Last night, I told him about the disturbance in the force that is causing such a focus on my lack of a love life and his insightful thoughts were, "you know britt... if I was a younger man...

... I'd be scared of you."

Not exactly what I expected to tumble out of his mouth... oh well, like father, like son, i guess... hehehe, with the greatest of affection, i assure you.

i can't make this stuff up
this is getting ridiculous. my former boss called me today to set me up on a blind date, and as i was talking to her, my current boss was asking around to set me up on a blind date...
WHAT IS GOING ON?!
It's a mystery. To distract myself from this considerable conspiracy, here is my latest amusement (more at the link):
15 Lines From Star Wars That Can Be Improved if you substitute the word "Pants"
* "A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master."
* "These pants may not look like much, kid, but they've got it where it counts."
* "I find your lack of pants disturbing."
* "These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we use it."
* "Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants."
* "You look strong enough to pull the pants off of a Gundark."
* "Luke. . . Help me take...these pants off."
* "Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants."
* "That blast came from those pants. That thing's operational!"
* "Don't worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this."
* "Maybe you'd like it back in your pants, your highness."
* "Your pants betray you. Your feelings for them are strong.
* "Attention. This is Lando Calrissean. The Empire has taken control of my pants, I advise everyone to leave before more troops arrive."
* "I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants."
* "You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought."

i should know better
in an attempt to be summer-y, i ventured out into the world this morning wearing white pants. And of course i spill coffee on the ride in. And, let me tell you, examining the damage once you get to work (read: staring at your own crotch in the parking lot) is not exactly how you should greet your colleagues on a Tuesday morning.

forecast: partly cloudy
sporting some FABULOUS red stilettos today, which make me feel rather spindly. ankle-breakage might be on the horizon, which would be quite tragic as I have my brown belt test coming up (eek!!) and surfing/tennis/belly dancing lessons to attend.

If you think the last entry (on failure, not shoes) is rather pointed, you'd be right. This medium is so limiting; I have a lot to comment on the world, but have to edit most of it for the sake of other people's feelings. I'm opinionated, but tactful (i'd like to think!). There are a few subjects on my mind that I can't even generalize like that last one because it would be too obvious of a calling-out on certain situations. But that last one... I doubt the person it is directed at will even flicker with recognition. I also find it amusing that no one else comments when I write things like that, as if your parents are arguing, and you don't know where to look or what to say, only hope that it passes soon.

It's okay to admit your uncomfortable once in a while.

I have to bring to light a strange phenomenon in my life: I've had 8 people in the last 2 weeks comment on my singleness. 2 of those people are in Japan, which adds to the peculiarity of the situation, if only for the fact that its not like all these commentators could have held a summit meeting about it. I'm thinking the Venus/Sun tapdance may have influenced my aura, giving off a glowing "I'M SINGLE" sign that everyone but my mirror can see? Not sure what's going on, exactly, and even worse, not sure how to deal with it, as I've never felt so attacked or accused before on what I consider a non-issue. So let it go, folks, and take comfort in my ability to take care of myself.

Failure by default
Which is a worse reason to be deemed A LOSER:

* trying, but never winning.
-OR-
* never trying, and thus, never winning.

i'm the type of person who takes risks, even if i end up looking a big fool... Because then at least i know (know the outcome, not know that i'm a fool. i think that's pretty well documented). it's sometimes hard for me to understand someone who doesn't take a risk on something because they don't want to fail at it. i'd be inclined to say that is as much failure as risking + losing.

kersplat
i went through no less than 12 paper towels this morning cleaning the bird sh*t off my car this morning. THAT'S how much there was. And it's not even a matter of i just washed my car (which i did), but more that the horrible smell emanating from the shiny white metal was more than i could stand. You know that horrible wreaking sour stench usually found in the flamingo area of your local zoo? Concentrate that onto your car, and YECCCHHH!! The fact that I had to go through quite a bit of towelage to get all of it off should say something... and people wonder why i avoid breakfast.

on a different note, check out my friend denise's link to the right. She's part of a big-time party-throwing gang, and they've got an event coming up... should be good times for all.

in·som·ni·a
n. Chronic inability to fall asleep or remain asleep for an adequate length of time.

i'm no doctor, but... the novelty has worn off this whole not-sleeping thing, and now i'm just pissy. i feel sorry for the people at work who've had to put up with me being a catching-up stress case on top of being super-tired grouchy. The worst part of it is that i'm stumbling in my words and thinking SLOW... i couldn't think of a smart comeback to the fool of a boy who said "You haven't slept in 5 days? No wonder you look like hell!", so instead i had to resort to the evilest trick i know: pulling his leg hair with my toes. Wasn't as satisfying as a witty zinger would have been, though.

i got my pictures back from japan, and i'm so happy with them. they are such a great reminder of the good times. Adding to that natsukashii feeling was the excitement of other peoples to see the pictures; a 180°difference compared to my last return from Japan.

this weekend (does thursday count?) has been spent soaking up friends, quite truly those dearest to me. if we've connected over the past coupla days, you're in that category. if we haven't, you're not necessarily NOT dear, you're just MIA for the moment. i have to send out some mad props to my girl cynthia, who, even though she's scared, is going to take a chance for heart. i wish she'd knock that same sense into the fool i know, who won't take a chance on anything. But that's wishful.

and this is my lullabye. Let's hope it works.

anecdote #1
to be a traveler is to be a storyteller, and i readily accept the role. From the gate, i encountered craziness to start my journey. i was standing in line for bag security check, not moving anywhere for 20 minutes, when the friendly LAX security pulled me and some other people into a new queue (which was actually moving! Novel concept!). There I was, ladeedah, people watching and generally zoning out, when all of a sudden "Sarah!" escaped my lips. Joining the back of the line was Miss Sarah, friend from high school, and fellow Asian educator/resident (I visited her in S. Korea last year). She happened to be going back to Korea, though I had thought she had already left since her going away bash was mid-April and she had been MIA since then. Turned out visa issues were all worked out, and off she went.

Life's little coincidences make so much more interesting, don't you think?

tadaima
you've probably been wondering why my little corner of the web has been so quiet lately. For those intuitive types (and those directly involved in my day-to-days), you know that I was back in the land of squatting toilets and sake, trains and tomadachi, i.e. JAPAN! The stay was short (I lost about 2 1/2 days out of 7 to travel alone), but FABULOUS. I got to see a lot of people who refreshed my spirit, and eat lots of oishii food (that's YUMMY) which refreshed my need for exercise. I stayed with Marika's family for the first 4 days, and got to spend lots of time with her super-enthusiastic papparazzi father, who, unfortunately, acquired a video camera since my last visit (and who also would not stop responding with "Ohhohah, I sink zat is interest!" to anything I had to say). So not only do I have tons of photos of me already, i also have a video tape for everyday I was there, with such gripping footage as me standing, me drinking some coffee, and me watching Marika write something down. It's non-stop action, folks.

I got to see Kelly and Alan, too, and it was really good to catch up with them. I consider myself truly lucky that I met them when I was there, and know that I'll always have a welcome mat to wherever they are. Like Marika and E-chan, it's like we picked up where we left off. I also visited with the karate group I had trained with earlier, and that was a more obvious reminder of the time that had passed since (my) kids were so BIG!

The amusing thing to me was that this time 'round, people were much less sad to see me go. And as pathetic-sounding as that sentence turned out, it is meant to reflect how I have some how proven myself to that side of the world that I'm not going away. More than once did I hear, "Next time you visit..." Maybe I should let my boss know I'll be out of town coming soon.