the great revelation
So, here's the big secret:

I got a new job!

Ya-TTA! I officially start next week as PETCO's Store Communications Coordinator, which means that any sort of communication that needs to go to any of the stores goes through me. I'm an I-dotter and a T-crosser. More importantly it means that I don't have to answer that infamous question, "Where's my bag of free dog food?" from Captain Crabbypants Customers.
I have been splitting my days between CustService in the morning and training for the new position in the afternoon. And I pray that today will not be a repeat of yesterday, where I worked from 7 am until 6 pm. Overtime or not, there comes a point where I just stop learning. I have been introduced around to a gazillion people I will never remember the names of, and have had some unique insight on how people perceive me:
"Hi, I'd like you to meet Britt. She's..."
* fiesty.
* cuter than we thought she'd be.
* the bitchiest one in CustSat, so that's why she's here now.
* a firecracker.
* like Gwen Stefani.

Hmm... Nothing about my skills, per se, but still a lot to live up to. But it should be a good start to a good year. And on that note:

Akemashite Omedetoo Gozaimasu! ((that's Happy New Year, fool!))

room for rent?
I need to move. Definitely, definitely need to move. Not because of the planes or the parking tickets or even the golf-club weilding crazies about the neighborhood. All those I can deal with. But what I am most utterly fed-up with is the apartment downstairs. Yesterday marks the 4th time just this month I have been woken up in the midnight hours by my neighbors downstairs yelling, sobbing, throwing things, and breaking glass. A heavy sex session is usually involved, though with no consistency in regards to if the glass starts breaking before or after the lovin'. Last night marked a new facet to the drama, as I heard the man frame most of his commentary around the fact that the woman is a drunk. But he still loves her. I truly do not need to be that involved in their life, and unfortunately, I am even more intimately involved than even they realize (because, of course, the high quality building materials of my apartment afford me to hear exactly about the details of the couple's dysfunctionality on ALL levels). What concerns me even more than the lack of sleep (and hey, if I'm sleeping, that's a feat for me, so you can imagine my grumblings about being most rudely awakened by sobbing of "get the f*** off of me, I HATE you!" down below) is the fact that, as far as I can tell, the woman is the instigator in all this, but does not find anything wrong with screaming for her children (young kids) in the middle of the argument. It's stomach-wrenching.

I'm not sure what to do about all this. Any suggestions?

these are the people in your neighborhood
Sunday morning, nothing to do. Strap on the sneakers, don the cap (skin cancer, not so much. Does much to hide my newly glowing crown of RED hair, too), and start a'walkin'. Down to Little Italy I go, making mental notes of places to visit once the owners get there (not everyone has this kind of time on a Sunday morning, it seems), and searching to see if maybe, just maybe there is a local place that serves banana smoothies. I had to settle for a spiced chai latte. Strangely, only once the festive "Buon Natale" banners faded to plain tarnished lamp posts did I start to get the uneasy feeling from redolent memories of family car trips to downtown San Diego, hearing my mom's command to "lock the doors." It may have only been for the fact that a police car slowly pulled up next to me, smiling officer inquiring as to whether I had seen a black man running down the street. No, officer, I had only encountered an elderly screaming white man yielding a golf club.

good tidings of comfort and joy
Merry merry, y'all, and some big blessings on ya.

familial protestations
So Christmas Eve has been cancelled by my family. CANCELLED. I don't know why exactly; something having to do with some stressful showdown that went on last year (when I, conveniently, was in Japan... or Hong Kong, technically). But that means no pizza dinner, no traditional family photo shenanigans, no waiting for the last minute wrapper to hurry up because the rest of us want to open presents, no spending the night at my parents' house to wake up to Christmas Day and toothbrushes in our stockings...

...none of that. WTF?! My Christmas spirit has been greatly depressed.

top secret confidential
There's a secret 'brewin'. More details to come on that.

When my schedule changes in the slightest, I get a little off kilter. No more Japanese class and sporadic karate times have left me not realizing which way the wind is blowing. With my head hung shamefully, I wish my dear friends

Cynthia and Doc a Happy (belated) Birthday!

Technically, Cyn lucked out as I spent Saturday afternoon introducing her to the wonder that is Legoland, CA, and Sunday night introducing her to the wonder that is the CA burrito from Santana's. But for Doc-a-roo, I am completely blaming it on the fact that I have no idea what day of the week it is. That's all. Weak, I know. I'm sorry.

search and destroy
ha! that final didn't stand a chance.

how's that for irony?
Today I was assigned to work in our Mira Mesa store, or "out on the front lines" as I like to think of it. Despite my MAJOR reservations about retail + *britt* = not so much, I put on the helmet and headed for the trenches. Mostly I was concerned about the fact that I have my Japanese final tonight and would have liked to keep as normal a schedule possible, but also, let's face it, I'm not meant for menial tasks, and I have pretty much proven it. In just under 2 hours, I managed to get a hamster stuck in a towel, let a $150 finch (a FINCH! the thing is about 4 inches big! and it's 150 bucks?! what the heck?) out of it's cage (And of course the first thing it does is run smack into the window), and fall in love with a baby sun conure who crawled into my hands and didn't want to crawl out. Good thing I got called back to the office (Half of our staff is out with the flu... MADNESS!) before I ended up going home with half the store.

dusty Hyundai pheremones
About a year ago, my Christmas wish was simple. But I have something more I would like... Regarding that last entry, question #5 about what I really want for Christmas, I'm afraid to say that I lied. Well, not really, but I realized that would I would really like is a fun lunch bag/lunchbox. I bring my lunch to work with me almost daily and although it seems to be working out just fine for me, the pink-striped Victoria's Secret bag I carry my tasty treats in is a little bit ghetto.

Yesterday I got hit on while waiting on a freeway onramp. Normally I'm a little creeped out by people staring into my car, but I have to admit that I'm a looker. Not as in va-va-va-VOOM, what a looker!, but more like I can't help but look at the people next to me. I always do it, I can't help it. So how surprised was I when I looked over to a truck and found a guy waving enthusiastically. I quickly looked away (smiling, because it was pretty funny) and did some quick calculating: I was going to be sitting in the line to get on the road for at least another 15-20 minutes, and thus could not just stare straight ahead blatantly ignoring him. Just not possible. So I reached for the pad of paper I keep in my car for occassions such as this, and wrote a quick note, only to find that when I went to hold up the note to him, he was already holding up a sign that read "I think I love you." Hahaha, a man after my own heart. I threw the old "I don't think my boyfriend would like that very much" curveball at him, and he wrote back "that's okay, I have a three-seater." A little creepy, but at least he has a sense of humor.

So if any of you want to call Scott, owner of a three-seater truck, you just let me know. I'll hook you up.
((ps - why is no one leaving comments these days?! you HATE me!!))

it's definitely 10 days 'til Christmas. Eek.
This weekend was really good. It was full of friends and that's full of fun, despite the fact that it involved seedy bars with too loud karaoke, being punched hard enough to deaden my arm, and cleaning raquetball courts till they gleamed. Good times, good times.

Because the big holiday is almost upon us, here is the latest "Friday Five" (just a few days delayed). Feel free to comment with your own thoughts:
1. Do you enjoy the cold weather and snow for the holidays?
Let’s just say that I’m never dreaming of a white Christmas (think of the ORIGINAL first verse of the song!!), but I can remember the feeling of sheer delight coursing through me the one time I recall when I was in Pennsylvania for Christmas and it started snowing on Christmas day. It seemed miraculous to me.

2. What is your ideal holiday celebration? How, where, with whom would you celebrate to make things perfect?
Family (not just blood, but all the people I love) and food is all I need, although since this is my “ideal” celebration, I would definitely opt out of serving any sort of poultry dish as, ideally, I would prefer not to be reminded of Laura’s love of eating skin. Nothing against her, it’s just my stomach can’t take too much more of seeing that.

3. Do you do have any holiday traditions?
We always have pizza on Christmas Eve, unless we have pea soup or something. But pizza is usually the menu. And we take a photo every year, so if you ever see one and wonder why my dad is laid out like he just slid into 2nd base, it’s only because he has just set the timer.

4. Do you do anything to help the needy?
Define “needy.”

5. What one gift would you like for yourself?
As strange as this may sound, I would really like Big Bear to get some more stuffing. He’s been with me for many, many a Christmas, and he’s going a little too squishy in the head. It’s like his stuffing has evaporated. He could use a really good bath, too. But that’s one of those things that I would never do myself, just from lack of time and knowledge, really, but I would really like it to happen. Anyone know of a teddy bear day spa?

"britt's going brown!"
this emphatic statement made by the boss-lady after I told her about the UPS guy I got caught looking at. Actually, I caught him looking at me. What can I say, I'm a looker... at least when I'm driving. I tend to always look into the cars I pass or am pulled up next to at lights. This car happened to be a big brown truck with a UPS guy doing his best to look into my car (maybe because of the Victoria's Secret bag sitting on my passenger seat? i don't know...). It was a bit weird to see him looking in, so I looked away right when he needed to pull up anyway. So I used the ol' looking into his side mirror to see into the truck, and I found out he was still looking! I kept his gaze long enough to realize he could no longer qualify for "glancing over." The funniest part is when we pulled out into traffic, he kept it slow so I could catch up (still staring and SMILING) and then later blazed by (still staring and smiling and WAVING). Dang. Looks like I'll have to hang out on that route for a while to see if Erin's prediction comes true!

irrelevant syntax
bu-ri-tto: "Sensei, does it matter where in the sentence I say "nido", or do I have to put it in a certain place?"

Koike-sensei: "Everywhere nothing zat all s'okay."

'Japanese' is not a difficult language. 'Japanese-teacher's-English', however, is.

aaaaaaaaand break!
I'm able to better pinpoint the looming cloud over me to a sense of regret of stepping directly into the shoes I left about a year ago. Really, that has to be it. But there are definite big, fat, shining rays of sunniness breaking through that cloud, and they come in the form of playing a couple of rounds of air hockey with Silvi (ok, so she kicked my butt, but not without the GREAT help of me knocking the puck into my own goal an embarrassing amount of times), catching up with old bosses (though one of them said that my most marketable skill is "rubbing people the wrong way" but what she really meant is that I'm well-versed in sarcasm. Strike 2.) and running into one of my most-favortist curly-headed people from freshman year of college, and catching up with him over boba.

These are the things that make me feel a little bit more like the Me I know, not the Me I seem to be these days.

weekend warrior
Yay for change! The powers-that-be changed the karate test for getting your next belt and they made it so we aren't doing as much work now. Ya-TTA! This of course means that I was in full mental capacity to fight instead of the usual Drunken Master style I pull. All was good until I got bopped in the nose/eye (let's just call it sinus area) by the same girl who kicked me in the neck a couple of weeks ago. Very disconcerting:

Kayleen: "Britt, I'm sooooo sorry!"
Me: "Kayleen, I have my work holiday party to go to tonight, I'd better not have a black eye!"
Kayleen: "Well, if you get a black eye, just put some hemorrhoid cream on it..."
Me: "Like I have that sitting around...?"
Kayleen: "Well, call me, and I'll bring you some."

For someone who likes to beat me up on a regular basis, she's awfully sweet. I didn't end up getting a black eye, but DID get pretty scratched up by 2 little ones at the karate holiday party. Did they not get the memo about me + kids = not so much? Like Linda said, "maybe they're like cats who seem to always go straight to the person who's allergic." These 2 little crazies insisted on chasing me around and grabbing handfuls of my skin... ouch! No more sugar for them. EVER.

I had fully intended on taking a nap between parties, but didn't get a chance to. Headed off to the PETCO Party with Nat, Larry and Amy, and ended up getting my head slammed into the belt of the man sitting next to me on stage during the hypnotist portion of the evening. Needless to say I didn't "go under" after that. Thanks, but I had enough whiplash that morning, I didn't really need a second dose.

get off my phone!
It's definitely not even 8 o'clock and I've already had 3 hang-ups in a row, 1 "f**k you!" call, and 1 seriously CRAZY woman talking about don't I remember her telling me about her food poisoning and about her giving greeting cards to Ted Koppel on the street. I'm sorry, but this sort of madness is UNacceptable on a Friday morning.

not so fab, 5
FIVE! That's FIVE parking tickets I have received now since moving downtown. Keep in mind I have only been living there for 3 months. Even The Count would take a moment of silence from his "AH AH AH"s for that. And speaking of five, that is how many hours I have left of this workday. Even the McDonald's fries I had for lunch, inspired by Tony, weren't able to blanket me in fried happiness because of the overshadowing gloom of #5. Might be a lean Christmas here, folks.

And in case you were wondering, I would like to affirm that my editor on these little broodings is on alert and doing his job well. Thanks, DaddyO. Hope the changes are "spot on."

the world according to bu-ree-toe
* It amuses me when I see people in San Diego wearing full sweaters, sherpa jackets, scarves and beanies... and it's 75 degrees outside. Hello people, as much as you want to live in the glossy world of LL Bean, you don't. You live where the sun is shining in December, and you just look silly. And hot. And not in the va-va-voom way, either.
* Why would you call up a Customer Service line to inquire about your account and not have your account number handy? Why would you then also make yourself into a bigger fool by saying something like "Oh, I didn't know you would need that." or "Can't you look me up by my zip code?". And exactly how do I come across as offensive when you say "Where would 'that' be on this?", I say "Well, sir/ma'am, where are you looking?"
* Sensei likes to mess with my head, this time in the form of saying "you're testing" about 1 hour and 1 day before the paperwork is due. Keep in mind that a) you're supposed to get approved and signed off by 2 black belts before you're eligible, 2) they hadn't signed anyone yet, and III) you're not supposed to talk back. (Well, 2 outta 3 ain't bad...) My reaction to the ominous words of "you're testing" was, naturally, "says who?!"... {{shocked look blankets Sensei's face}} ..."I mean besides that whole 'I'm Sensei and what I say goes' thing." Yeah, they love me in that group.

he did so good!
I got to spend my Saturday night in one of my favorite ways: Grocery shopping with Doc. It's a long-standing tradition with us that has resulted in some of my bestest memories (and most embarrassing... hello, Turkish boy incident!) and actually is one of my favorite ways to spend time with someone. High-jinx and antics ensue, including, but not limited to: juggling, throwing things, and (accidentally) running people over with our giant, non-steerable, racecar-shaped shopping cart. The end of the night I got my birthday present from Doc, regardless of the fact that my birthday was 5 months ago and in a different country. No matter to him. Time-wise aside, he got me a CD from my favortist band: BareNaked Ladies. Unfortunately, over the course of various conversations, he figured out that the CD he bought was one I already owned, so he took it back and got another one. The second time around, it turns out that I had the CD that he got to replace the first one. So by that point, I told him exactly which CD I was looking for (the new one), but made the mistake of telling him I was also looking for the new Sheryl Crow CD. The response was "great! You won't know which one you'll get..." A couple of weeks later (i.e. Saturday) finds me standing with Doc, with his version of 'wrapping', i.e. "pick a hand..." I picked and he pulled out the Sheryl Crow CD... Score! And as I was giving him a hug of thanks, out he pulls the BNL CD with a "I figured you had to wait so long..." YAY! It was such an awesome surprise, I'm so proud of him!